his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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