So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
