Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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