I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
