you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize