I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
