I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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