So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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