We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
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I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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You ate ashes out of my bong
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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