my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
