All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
