420 ftw
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
