So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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