Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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