I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
