just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
