guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
