Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
