A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
