So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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