I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
