We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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