we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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