And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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