When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
