She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Randomize
