You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize