I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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