apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
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