Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(828): View more from North Carolina

..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.

(1-828): View more from North Carolina

nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz

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(828): ..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels. (1-828): nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz http://tfl.nu/wr90

Replies (6) Good night (1701) Bad night (467)
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(626): View more from California

i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.

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(626): i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner. http://tfl.nu/vo3h

Replies (32) Good night (3568) Bad night (923)
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(757): View more from Virginia

i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work

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(757): i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work http://tfl.nu/0keb

Replies (20) Good night (5123) Bad night (1190)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early

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(412): For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early http://tfl.nu/4ftf

Replies (62) Good night (7087) Bad night (999)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.

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(803): She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient. http://tfl.nu/2q61

Replies (22) Good night (5239) Bad night (1111)
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(210): View more from Texas

drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend

(1-210): View more from Texas

I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.

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(210): drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend (1-210): I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning. http://tfl.nu/558s

Replies (26) Good night (2150) Bad night (5247)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job

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(413): I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job http://tfl.nu/ruqn

Replies (13) Good night (3884) Bad night (979)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..

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(+44): The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her.. http://tfl.nu/uw6o

Replies (5) Good night (2185) Bad night (655)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.

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(701): second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life. http://tfl.nu/2fc0

Replies (7) Good night (398) Bad night (1410)
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(972): View more from Texas

I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.

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(972): I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy. http://tfl.nu/nung

Replies (14) Good night (2269) Bad night (544)
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(256): View more from Alabama

Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.

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(256): Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you. http://tfl.nu/bzso

Replies (11) Good night (3411) Bad night (715)
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(417): View more from Missouri

Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?

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(417): Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO? http://tfl.nu/uhod

Replies (4) Good night (802) Bad night (647)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.

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(603): I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP. (1-603): It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay. http://tfl.nu/8z7g

Replies (8) Good night (1451) Bad night (464)
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(076): View more from

He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.

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(076): He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid. http://tfl.nu/ww4m

Replies (3) Good night (998) Bad night (214)
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(447): View more from

She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.

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(447): She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases. http://tfl.nu/jvs6

Replies (5) Good night (265) Bad night (544)

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