I want to have your abortion
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.