I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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