because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE