Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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