Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize