Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
