My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
