$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??