"it" just moved
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
it glows. i had to have it.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
