so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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