i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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