11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Watching her eat just hurts me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize