How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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