Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
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