my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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