found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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