I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
