come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
please don't ironically join a cult
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