I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
