I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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