ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
