I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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