So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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