i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
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It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
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You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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