Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
