just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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