i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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