I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
party gras won. party gras always wins.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
