you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
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