I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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