I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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