you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
is it fun? or sober?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
