Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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