sorry about calling you the devil all night.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
